Blind All the Time

Life is so fast-paced nowadays. Our society has become like a greedy child, thinking everything revolves around it and it needs everything right now! We can't just have food, we need fast food. We're no longer satisfied with the world wide web, we need it in super-fast 3G! We don't want to hear your life story, we want all your thoughts and feelings condensed down into a maximum of 140 characters, because otherwise - well, it just takes far too long. We sink through the hours of our day, like quick-sand taking hold and we simply don't have the time to stop. No, not even for the important things anymore...

It always makes me laugh when people ask, "Tell me about yourself?" as if I can be summed up in a couple of choice sentences. Besides that, where do you begin? I could tell you about my hobbies or give you a long list of my favourites. I could paint you a vague overview of my past, with the details miniscule and pixelated. I could describe to you the people in my life and my relationship to all of them. But none of those things are who I am. They are only microscopic pieces of a much greater puzzle. The trouble is, that to really know someone requires time - and time is exactly the one thing which we are so often not willing to give.

People like to rely on a list of statistics about you written out for them in black and white. That way, they can flick through at their leisure and see who matches up to their impossibly high expectations, distorted beyond reconciliation by our ever-growing pursuit for factual perfection. What these people never seem to question is, do objective facts really mean anything when it comes down to what a person is actually like?

I never used to want anyone to find out the fact that I have something wrong with my eyes. I always wanted someone to get to know me first. That way, I would have a chance to show them that I am so much more than that as a person, before they dismissed me as a stereotype of what they thought they knew. Sometimes, even when you play it that way, on the day that the truth comes out, everything changes.

Even in the 21st Century, people can have wonderful relationships for years on end and then one day, one of them discovers something about the other - a fact that they may have been born with or something which has developed naturally within them, entirely out of their control - and, all of a sudden, they can no longer be seen in the same way.

This is why, when some people discover new information about themselves, they keep it all burrowed away inside - a skeleton in their closet - for fear that the ones they love most will abandon them if they ever find out their secret.

Other times, people around you may loosely be aware of this fact about you already, but not really understand its importance to your life. And so, out of the blue, while you're going along as you always do, suddenly somebody sees the visual representation of what they discovered ages ago and have known all along, but have never experienced in this stark way before. It's your own personal normal, something you have accepted and deal with every day accordingly. Still, again, it has the power to change the way somebody looks at you.

The funny thing is that it's always been there. If you liked someone as a person before, when a new fact about them which was previously over-shadowed in the background comes to light, it doesn't change who they are at all. Their personality is still the same. They are still all of those incredible things that you have come to admire and cherish. They still have the ability to do everything they could in the past - because, guess what, they've been doing it the whole time!

I have been in situations where somebody has suddenly realised how much more of a struggle things can occasionally be for me and from then on, they feel as though they can dictate what I am and what I am not able to do, based on that. It is amazing how people make the word "difficult" an instant synonym for "impossible" at these times. The reality, of course, is that it has been difficult for me all along. Yet surely the mere fact that this has entirely escaped their notice for so long means that I can do it - and pretty well by the sounds of things!

I'm still me. I'm still a person. And no person is just any single fact.

There are so many facts which make up who every person in this world is. Some of them are facts relating to appearance, others are personality and still others are things like disability, sexuality, family background, race - the list goes on and on. Some facts come in large groups and others make up minorities. Some facts we have in common and others sculpt our subtle differences. All too often, people forget to see the full picture. One fact can never define anyone. One fact can never change who somebody is. One fact can certainly never make anything impossible.

The ignorant run from factual differences. The wise know that our differences are to be embraced. Personally, I think they create character. Out of perspective, new information about someone means they can never be the same again. In perspective, one single fact amongst the vast make-up of millions of others in any given individual really doesn't make any difference whatsoever. When it comes down it, no two people in the world share completely identical statistics. We all have our own, unique ways of doing everything. If anything, it's what makes life interesting.

Some facts change and some are always there, but try and make a list of all the facts about you. Trust me, you will have far too many. This is because, as people, we are so much more than singular pieces of factual information - and that alone is probably the most important fact you need to remember about anyone.     

Perspective

I find it amazing how perspective can change everything. This fact has been highlighted to me very starkly recently and I am now at the point where I would like to share some of what I have learned.

I have always and will always be very positive about the way I was born. You can often find me laughing and joking with my friends about how I can't see everything they can. Then, one day, I sat up and realised that I actually can't see all the things they can - and all of a sudden, what had always been something I found amusement in, hurt like hell. I felt like my world would never be the same again...

Perspective is as simple as that. Two completely opposite ways of viewing one situation. Nothing has changed at all, apart from how you think. The magic of this is that if you can see it in these simple terms, you can change your world at the drop of a hat.

We've all had a week where we can wake up one day feeling like we're floating on cloud nine. Then, for some unknown reason, the next morning, we come crashing down to earth with a thump and suddenly life looks more dismal and hopeless than ever.

It all comes down to perspective. Looking at life through a different pair of lenses.

I have a wide range of sunglasses. The great thing about them is that they help me to be able to see better, (because the sunlight is especially harsh on my eyes) whilst still keeping my cool - or as cool as I can possibly pull off at least! To be honest, I have become pretty self-conscious about the way my eyes look to other people, but along with my hefty amount of sunglasses comes my confidence. Over time, I have realised that you can never completely get rid of the world's rougher side. So, for me, it's more about toning down all those damaging things which make me feel uncomfortable, (physically, mentally and emotionally) and maximising my ability to find happiness in any situation.

With that in mind, I wanted to share some stories from my own life. The good times, the bad times and everything in-between. If nothing else, it will help me to remember that life is what we make it and give me a practical, undeniable documentation of the perspective that, at times, we all so desperately need.

If all else fails, you might simply require a brand new pair of perspectacles!

Just Giving

There are so many charities for so many worthy causes in the world that it is hard to decide which ones to donate to sometimes. They all have such a convincing spiel and, as cold and stoney as this may seem, I think it's fair to say that we all occasionally catch ourselves wondering how much of it is simply fluff, designed purely to tug at our heart-strings and how much of it is hard, solid fact.

I, personally, have found myself in situations where charities appear to almost be manipulating me into giving to their cause. And that's weird. It turns the purpose of doing good around and leaves you with this idea in your head that charities are simply money-snatching associations, putting pressure on decent people to do things they don't actually want to do. Surely this is the opposite of what they are setting out for.

I was in town with my Mum this morning and a lady approached us from a charity supporting blind and visually impaired people. My Mum told her, "My daughter's registered blind," to which she gave us a disbelieving look of icy mistrust, tilted her head to one side and said, "...Really?" - as if we were simply making an excuse to get out of giving her money! It made the situation ironic; that she seemed to be working for my exact minority group and yet, when she actually met one of us, she treated me in a very strange way indeed.

However, on the whole, I believe that charities are set up for good intentions and to help. The major problem with them becoming a mere social irritation is that it devalues the causes which they are trying to serve. At the end of the day, it's so much more than a broad cause - a medical term or an environmental danger - it's individuals, like you and I, and like the people around us every day who are the real reason behind it all.

In fact, these charities are representing us. Now, call me picky, but I don't particularly want to be associated with a grumpy woman who instantly assumes you're attempting to deceive her.

People forget this very easily and they seem to think that if they don't know one of the individual sufferers personally, it shouldn't bother them in the slightest. Why do people care? Why can't people just chill out about it all?

Well, would you be able to chill out about it all if it was your life on the line?

Empathy seems to be utterly lost on certain people, who somehow get away with having no real difficulties themselves and yet, sadly, seem to find every other reason in the world to complain.

Although, at times, even ignorance can be a positive - after all, it's when people start getting annoyed that you know they're taking notice.

The latest craze has been the A.L.S. Ice Bucket Challenge, raising awareness for people with a motor-neuron disease diagnosed in over 5,600 Americans every year. I have seen people complaining about being sick of "having" to watch these videos, after a few weeks of them being in circulation online. The great part is that they don't have to watch them at all. Nobody is standing over them, forcing them to do it. They are continually choosing to watch and so taking notice of an important message, possibly without even meaning to.

It's a very clever way to go about spreading your word in my opinion. People can't help themselves when it comes to social media and impressing their friends. And therefore, sometimes ignorance can be a fantastically blissful tool, if one only knows how to take advantage of it.


I think charities are all well-meaning, it just depends on how creative and passionate their workers are and how they go about making people aware of a cause that probably means nothing to them, but to somebody almost certainly is life-changing.

In this case, it's somebody like Anthony Carbajal.

One thing I know for sure is that charities are about real people, with real problems. You just have to look it from their perspective.